Feeling someone's pain

My parents were in town this weekend (well...they have been in town pretty much EVERY weekend since Little Boy was born but that's a different story) and shared with me the story of a woman from Cincinnati who accidentally left her 11-month old daughter in the van in 90 degree heat while she was at work all day. Needless to say, I suppose, her daughter didn't survive.

I don't know if it's being a mother or the fact that Little Boy is just a month younger than this poor woman's little girl or what...but I could barely bear to hear the story. My dad was telling me about the woman's 911 call and how calm she sounded. Apparently she just said that she had forgotten her daughter in the van all day and just come out from work...that she hadn't touched her yet but that she knew she was gone. Just hearing her words and imagining that experience just ripped me up. I cannot fathom how that poor woman is dealing with herself right now.

Of course, I don't know her and I don't know her situation and I KNOW that there will be plenty of people out there to criticize and chastize her privately and publicly but I just can't imagine how she is dealing with her pain. I know she is imagining what her daughter must have gone through and replaying step by step how she might have avoided it. The regret and anguish must just be overwhelming.

Although I pray that it never happens to another soul, I truly believe that it could happen to any of us. We're all so anxiously running around from place to place in our lives...just barely stopping to breathe sometimes. Sometimes I drive right past the exit where I am supposed to get off and think, "How did I do that?" My head just isn't always in the game. The news reported that the woman who left her daughter in the van had changed preschools with her older child last week and was in a new routine. There's no doubt in my mind that just a little thing like a different route to work or a series of stops could cause this kind of tragedy.

Hearing her story was both a wake up call to me to "slow down" and a reminder of how much I cherish and adore Little Boy. I've worked so hard to make sure that I have time to enjoy him and don't pack my life so full of "chores" that I miss out on the precious time that I have with him. I could cry for this mother who has lost her baby girl...I hope that God will cradle and comfort both mother and daughter.

What is it about engineers?

So...let's get something out of the way: I'm married to an engineer. That fact, in and of itself, IMHO qualifies me to comment on the particular personality types that seem to gravitate to that profession.

Take today for example. I have been craving lemonade all summer. I drank it by the gallon while I was pregnant with Little Boy and there's something about it I just love. What I don't love about it is that it's full of calories and that the only diet lemonades I have been able to find are sweetened with aspartame. I can't explain why but aspartame gives me terrible migraines. Any time it enters my diet (whether I know it or not), a migraine ensues. So, obviously, I do not consume aspartame if I can help it.

So...I found a vendor online who makes a diet lemonade that is sweetened with Splenda. I ordered it over the weekend and was elated when it showed up today. I couldn't wait to make a big icy cold pitcher of it and was terribly disappointed when I realized that we don't actually own a pitcher. My husband pointed out that we have an old Brita filter pitcher that we don't use anymore (now that the refrigerator produces filtered water) and that it would probably work ok if I wanted to use that. I dug it out of the cabinet and got to work.

The directions on the lemonade package said, "Add 1 level scoop of powder to 1 quart of water while stirring." No problem, right? Well...the Brita pitcher didn't have any indication on it of how much water it could hold. Big E and I guessed 2 quarts...but we weren't sure. I found an empty 2 liter bottle that was labeled "2 liters. 2.1 quarts") and decided to use it to fill the pitcher. I figured that once I knew where the water level hit the pitcher for 2 quarts using the 2 liter bottle, I could always eyeball it to that level to fill it up in the future.

Big E wasn't sure if 2 quarts was going to fit though. And this is where it gets weird...
My inclination was to put the 2 scoops of powder in the pitcher, fill up the two liter and try to dump it in. If it didn't work, I'd throw it out and start over but I was pretty sure it was going to be ok. Not Big E though...he thought the best idea was to fill the two liter bottle and pour it into the pitcher without any lemonade mix to "test" and see how much water was going to fit. UGH! Of course, I had to admit that his idea was probably smarter and safer than mine but...harrumph...what a waste of time! If my way works, I have a pitcher of lemonade ready to go in 5 minutes. If it doesn't, I have to invest more time and effort. With his way, I'm sure that the pitcher of lemonade is going to turn out right when I make it...but I waste a lot of time up front preparing.

Needless to say, we did it his way. :) And I had to laugh at the amount of consternation the additional 2-3 minutes caused me...but I just had to wonder: is it normal to be that thorough and methodical about something like lemonade? And really...what is it with engineers?

Why blog? Why "The Blonde Lady?"

I've had friends who have blogged for a number of years now and frankly, I always found it kind of narcissistic. I guess I thought of it as posting your journal online for the world to read. And honestly, I just kept thinking, "Who's going to care to read my journal? Sometimes I go back and read old entries and I can even bear it." Lately though, I've discovered a couple of blogs that I really love. One, "The Pregnant Bitch," has kept me sane through my pregnancy and Little Boy's first year. The author of that blog is just so real about how she is feeling...and it's been a real gift to be able to read about where someone else honestly is at certain stages of motherhood. The other blog belongs to a friend of mine from college. It's called "Not to Brag" and while there's nothing there that is particularly earth shattering, (she and her sisters regularly blog about the events of their everyday lives) it is so well written and charming that I look forward to going out there just to see what they are going to comment on next.

All that being said, I decided to give it a try myself. I figure that if I'm not happy with the result, I certainly don't have to tell anyone it's out here. And it just might be cathartic...if not downright enjoyable!

As for the title of the blog, I had to think of something catchy and unique to call it. I wanted it to be relevant to my life so I tried to think of all the different ways I identify myself..."I'm a Notre Dame grad. I'm Big E's wife. I'm Little Boy's mom." Then I remembered living in Japan while I was in college. In the rural town that I lived in, foreigners weren't very common. So everyday when I would walk to the train station to go to university, the elementary school kids would stare at me until one of them could get up the nerve to yell out "Hello" (in English) or "Kimpatsu Ojoosan" (which means blonde lady in Japanese). Then, they would invariably giggle, refuse to make eye contact and run away. It also occurred to me that when I describe myself to someone who doesn't know me (if I'm meeting a colleague that I've only spoken to over the phone, etc.) I'm not notably tall or short, fat or thin so I usually end up saying, "I'm the blonde lady who will be x." So, The Blonde Lady it is.

Writing here is bound to be an adventure. We'll just have to wait and see how it unfolds.